| "Love is the bridge to you and everything." | ~ Rumi~ |
We are off on our summer camping holiday tomorrow but before I go, I wanted to write a quick post to share something with my blogging friends and family.
Tomorrow will be David and my 35th wedding anniversary.
Yes, on July 31, 1982 we started our life together.
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| Crazy young kids at age 23 (him) and me (22) |
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| I can remember feeling so excited by what life would have to offer us |
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| We fit from the beginning and I just knew we were meant to be life partners |
I can hardly believe it.
I know this sounds silly, but I don't even feel 35 years old and certainly don't feel as if I have been married that long. But oh, time is an interesting thing and it marches on, even though we feel timeless.
Ever since I attended my 30th grad reunion recently, I've been very conscious of THIS moment in time. It's precious. I awake feeling joyous, so happy I want to cry. Have you ever had that experience? I luxuriate with David next to me. He's been working really hard lately and is getting up so early to go to work that we never even have 15 minutes to be awake, lying still next to each other. It's always, go, go, go, around here. This morning, surprisingly no little people could be heard, so I curled up against David, who was still moving in and out of sleep, and realized we still fit together perfectly after all these years. Laying my head against his chest, I could hear, the "thump, thump,"of his heart.
That beat and his breath moving in and out of his body are fragile and reminds me that life in our human form is not infinite. We only have a short time in reality to live our life and make our memories. But what are memories, but an opportunity for us to linger back to another time and often, isn't it odd, when we look back they appear even more golden? This thought occurred to me recently and became more profound when I had some insights into my past after leaving my hometown for my high school reunion.
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| David at Goat River in Creston, at my recent Grad reunion |
It's too bad that we often look back with rose coloured glasses at our past and aren't able to wear them in the moment. I want NOW, to be tinted with roses. I guess that is one of the reasons that I've taken the time to get back into my yoga practice and my meditation this summer; because I want to be excruciatingly conscious of this moment being perfect and light filled. But it's not always rosy. I get frustrated and angry and sometimes the smallest thing can really irk me.
But that's okay. That's part of life too and recently at the end of one of my yoga classes, the teacher reminded me of a lovely affirmation, "I am perfect, just as I am!"
Thinking about it now makes me smile and bow my head.
Right now, as I type this post, David is off buying groceries and whatever camping supplies we need for our trip. I've been rallying the troops to gather up tents, sleeping bags, foam mattresses, etc. When I went to feed the chickens
though I got side tracked in the garden and realized in shock that my beans REALLY needed to be picked.Like now! And although I had a million things to do inside the house, I knew if I didn't take the time now to pick the beans, they would be too woody when we returned and thereby useless to process.
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| One of my blue lake bush bean patches...thank heavens I had the knowledge to do some successive planting |
So using the large bucket I had taken full of water/apple cider vinegar for the chickens, I started to pick beans. At first I was pulling them off aggressively, trying to get the chore done quickly and get back to my list, but then I brushed next to one of my lavender plants and a whiff of the fresh, woodsy scent filled my nostrils and took me back in time.
My grandma Clark was picking beans next to me. She was wearing one of her pastel, floral cotton dresses, which was covered by a light weight apron with deep side pockets, which I knew often had a stick of Wriggly's peppermint gum inside. She was bent over with a stainless steel colander next to her and was picking beans with a light, easy rhythm.
She smiled over at me, her nose crinkling.
Up until I'd stepped into the garden, it had been a bit of a hectic morning. So much for the precious moment lying next to David listening to his heart beat. David had left and I was in charge of gathering everything for our trip....plus making some zucchini bread, some cookies, feeding the cat, the chickens, watering the gardens, my potted flower plants, plus I wanted to whip through the house and leave it nice and clean. The children were trying to help but it was a bit like herding chickens getting them to stay focused on whatever task was in front of them. Then they started hauling way too much out of their bedrooms and I had to reinforce that this was a MINIMALIST camping trip. Food, Tents, Swim suits and PJ's, a deck of playing cards, a few books,(we love to read when camping) and yes, I said, "you can bring ONE stuffed lovie."
So when I headed into the garden patch I was feeling a bit frazzled. Oh, so much to do and I really wanted to have everything pulled together before David returned. My to do list was rolling in my head like a whirling dervish. Breathing the lavender slowed me down and yes, it's so true that it is a calming herb.
I need it EVERYWHERE!
Then Grandma said in her perfectly enunciated English, "Was it not just a few hours ago that you were feeling very happy and at peace? What happened?" as she continued her slow methodical picking of beans.
I looked over to where she had been picking and she had vanished but her question remained. I thought of her and how she had lived her life?. What were her stressful, hectic moments like and how did she react to them as she lived with my grandfather and they raised my Dad and his 3 siblings? I think I understood why she filled satchels with lavender for the linen closet and enjoyed chewing peppermint gum.
In those days there were no modern conveniences and certainly no technology to make life easier. Maybe moving at a slower pace had allowed them to be more aware of the simple things in life being very precious. Like lying next to your husband on a Sunday morning or guiding a bunch of children through some tasks. I would have loved to have had more time with her but she died when I was only seven and I will never have a first hand experience of asking her about her life. She has been gone for 50 years now but she lives on in my memory, and in my love of gardening. She left a legacy, hopefully I can pass that on to our children.
And then it all circled back to David and our time together. I'm living golden moments now and don't need time to make them shinier. I know this is it and when he comes back from all the gathering supplies, I'm going to give him and hug, a kiss and tell him how much I love him.
And after gathering all the beans, (and thank heavens for successive planting as they aren't all ready at the same time, whew!)
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| A bucket full of beans and eggs....looks like we are having beans for dinner AND I'm blanching beans for the freezer...so thankful for the food in our garden! |
I got the kids to stop all their chores and come out to the garden to enjoy a bit of this glorious summer morning. They skipped around their gardens and admired their zinnias starting to bloom, and Will realized that the corn is finally taller than him. Grandma was back with me and together we watched the kids dance around the yard, smiling, breathing. The moment was brilliant as I was extremely conscious that we are planting seeds for the future and some day, our children will pull them out of their pocket, (maybe with a stick of peppermint gum) and scatter them around the next generation of people on earth.
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| Wow, Will's corn is taller than him, when did that happen? |
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| Kate and I are happy to see that her beans are NOT ready to pick yet...still lots of flowers |
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| Victoria's zinnia's are starting to flower and are so beautiful....but the quail are into her lettuce, oh no! despite the hardware cloth barrier...what to do? |
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| The girls smell their flowers |
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| In June, the day of our son Harrison's graduation, David and I...married almost 35 years! |
"Happy Anniversary David! I'm so grateful to have lived a lifetime with you and I pray to have many more golden moments with you. Thank you for all our shining memories and our beautiful children. This lifetime reflection with you, and raising our children has given me a mirror unto my soul.
I LOVE YOU!"
Before you close, I just wanted to dedicate this song to my husband David. "Have I Told you Lately that I love you," by Van Morrison
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful. (and I hope you too take a moment to say, "I love you," to your special people in your life. We never know when our time together will end.
Blessings from Hope
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