Whisper Powerful Words....and Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Lately, my blog is turning into a reflective parenting place, where I have been discussing raising children more than talking about what is going on in in the back 40. But you know, it's that time of year....still really cold and snowy in our little valley.

Another cold snap hit our area and so, staying warm, and baking in the kitchen is how I spend much of my time

In a few weeks I will be starting to chat about starting seeds and I also want to share with you what it's been like to have chickens this first winter, for now, I wanted to share thoughts on growing children.

As I've evolved as a parent, I now see that our own nuclear families are really a world inside of themselves. When I tell my children to be kind and loving to their brothers and sisters, what I'm really saying is to be loving and kind to everyone and so, how we raise our children, and what we tell them, affects the whole planet. As our older children move out and start their own lives, I see how impactful what our children believe, has on the whole world.

When we are in the midst of diapers and starting to lay the foundation for how our children think of themselves, I don't know if we give much thought to the messages our children are hearing. Often, we are just so busy keeping everyone fed, in clean clothes and all the bills paid. Often, how our children come to think of themselves, is how WE treat ourselves, how we treat others and the everyday words we use as we maneuver through our own lives. Much of that time is spent in an unconscious state and we are not aware of the impact on our actions and words.

This morning I was inspired to write this post from a video I saw on my Facebook page. It was a video message from Chen Miller, who is a special needs educator living in Israel. She tells a story of coming into a classroom and seeing a little boy sitting in the middle of the room with big eyes. He was cursing, spitting and screaming. She came closer to him and whispered, "I know you have a big heart, I know that you are clever, I know that you are a good boy."

This went on for a few weeks, him screaming and her whispering positive affirmations into his ear. He told her that he was "disturbed". Everyone had said so; his parents, his teachers etc and yet, she continued to tell him, "I know you have a big heart, I know that you are clever and I know that you are a good boy." Finally he settled down and accepted her as his teacher.

Near the end of the school year he asked her how she knew children were good. And that is when she shared her secret with him. That by the Fifth grade she could not write, that she did not understand numbers. She thought she was stupid and yet, here she was finally a teacher. Here she was now capable of changing the system, the same system that wanted to give up on her when she was a child. That is how she knew.

WOW!

This story had me thinking about how we raise our children and while I know, just telling our children some positive affirmations isn't enough as each of our children comes into the world pre-loaded with their own personality and set of challenges, we can still plant seeds when they are tiny babies and continue to whisper those words throughout their childhood.

I used to sing while I changed my babies diapers or when I was bathing them. Silly little songs using their names to rhyme with words of how sweet they were, how smart and brilliant they were, how beautiful they were. How MUCH they were loved. As they grew, and they headed out into the world, I would remind them to "let their light shine." That little song I learned in church when I was a child had stuck and so I would hold my finger up to my children which they knew was my code word for, "let your light shine."



In an era of knowing labeling is dangerous, we as a society continue to do it. It's all over social media, our advertisements on television and magazines, and sadly, most of all, it's coming out of some of the world's elected representatives, in our political states of office.

 How can our children's seeds grow strong and healthy, if they go out in the world and are bombarded by toxic chemicals of judgement. You know what I'm talking about. We in North America, register our children in all sorts of activities from such an early age, so they aren't left behind, so they can get into the best schools, so they can achieve a high level of education and ultimately, have the best paying careers. We have their hair cut in cute styles and buy them fashionable clothing because we want them to be popular in school and accepted by their peers.

And even if you aren't actually saying anything to your child, what do you think the message is that they are hearing? I know a few of mine have heard the message that they aren't good enough. That they aren't smart enough. That they aren't pretty or hansom enough. It just breaks my heart....and yet there is always hope.

We as parents and teachers, as citizens of the world, are capable of altering the course of this earth by what we whisper into each other's ears. As Chen Miller transformed that little boy with the big eyes, we too can transform the world.

I'd love to share the video with you now and after you watch it, I hope you can join me in the kitchen where I'm making some Spicy Oatmeal Raisin cookies. It you read my last blog post called, "The Empty Cookie Jar," you will know in the end, I always keep the cookie jar full and even though I may be kind of a control freak, making sure my kids have warm footwear, etc I always try to encourage them to believe they are capable of anything and learn how to fill their own cookie jar.

Here's Chen Miller's video. (if you can't see it below, click on the hyper link) I hope you enjoy it and it inspires you too to reaffirm with love, kindness and inspiration. Let's all keep that cookie jar filled with light.

What a remarkable story and teacher hey?

And now, can you join me in the kitchen? I'll make you a cup of  spicy chai tea and we can chat while I make some Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. Do you like raisins? If not, we can use alternatives...cranberries are great and a little bit of orange peel in the mix is a lovely combination with the spices.

 Oh, what about dried apricots and pecans? Once you have a firm base, let your imagination be your guide to what you will fill your cookies with. PLAY around with it and maybe let's call it our infinite possibility cookie recipe....kind of like us!!!

Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Ingredients

1-1/2 cups of butter or margarine  (I like to use half butter and half margarine)
1 cup of white sugar
1 cup of brown sugar
3 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
3 cups of flour
3 cups of quick oatmeal
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp ginger
1 cup of raisins
1/2 cup walnuts
(opt) grated orange peel

(Remember: the raisins, walnuts can easily be replaced with cranberries and almonds, or any kind of fruit....finely cut dried apricots and pecans would be delish too...use your imagination....'cause you are BRILLIANT!!!)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. 
2. In a large bowl, combine the butter and margarine until creamed. Gradually add the white and brown sugar until well combined.

 Add the eggs, one at a time, and then the vanilla. Mix until light and fluffy.
3. Sift together the flour, baking soda, salt and all the spices.
4. Slowly add the dry mixture to the butter mixture, beating until well combined.
5. Finally add the oatmeal, raisins and nuts.....or any combinations of add on you have chosen.

6. Scoop the dough, 1 large tablespoon, onto a cookie sheet about 2 inches apart.
7. Gently press them down with a fork
8. Bake in preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes....I bake until just golden brown as I like my cookies chewy....the longer you bake...well, the crunchier they are going to be.

 Once done, allow the cookies to cool on the sheet for a few minutes, as this will allow them to set up nicely before you put them on your cooling racks. Once well cooled, fill up your jar.

Also, play around with the amount of flour/oats....my recipe is the perfect combination that we like as the cookies come out firm, but are chewy from the cookie jar...but play around with the dry ingredients until you get it to the texture you like.

Also, this makes a big batch...fills my jar and a freezer container or some to share with those who may need a winter affirmation of love and kindness.

Are you ready for a cup of tea and to try these cookies filled with endless possibilities?

And before I say goodbye today, here is a lovey affirmation to say to yourself. One of the most powerful lessons I have learned while raising my own children, is to connect with my inner child and heal those recorded messages that have directed and dictated most of my life. While raising my own children, I've been able to erase those false recordings and replaced them with two simple words that I say to myself everyday.

                                                                       I am

Let your light shine!

Thank you for coming for a visit today.

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful

Blessings from Hope

The Empty Cookie Jar

                                                        

                  "I would make cookies but they'd just get eaten."~ Doreen Reynolds~ (my mother in law)

The cookie jar was empty.

I noticed this fact as I flew out of the kitchen, car keys in hand, while yelling to my 5 school bound kids, "hurry up, or you're gonna be late for school." A mad rush towards coats, hats and boots ensued and within a blink, everyone was safely buckled into their respective car seats. That is, except for my 18 year old son, Harrison.

Harrison has always done things on his own time with a laid back air. Although it's true, he did arrive 2 weeks early. He was due on December 31st but made his debut on December 19th and was home in time for Christmas of 1998, never one to miss an event or fun.

Oh finally, there he was at the garage door, wearing his navy blue basketball hoodie, grey sweat pants, and favourite cobalt blue basketball socks. I watched as he casually dropped his black backpack and placed his hot beverage cup on the freezer. It was probably filled to the top with creamy and sugared coffee, which he had started to drink now that he was 7 months away from University. With graceful ease, my 6 foot 3 inch tall, son, slipped into a pair of grey Addidas sandals.

With incredulous eyes, I watched as he reached to picked up his backpack, coffee cup and shuffled slowly to the car, despite the fact we were running late. As he opened the passenger side of the front door and was about to put his coffee cup in the holder, with supreme authority I said, "If you think I'm driving you to school wearing sandals in January your crazy."

"Oh moooooom," he said, but he must have recognized the "I'm not kidding" look on my face and after putting his cup in the car holder and dropping his backpack on the front seat, he turned and shuffled back to his shoe cubby, with the same relaxed air, exchanging his sandals for a pair of low rise, red court sneakers. He came back to the van and with a sigh, grabbed his backpack off the front seat and plucked himself down, as only teenagers can do saying, "is this better?"

I gave him an exasperated look, backed the van out of the garage and then commenced a lecture I knew by heart. After all, this was the same child I'd taken to soccer practice, only to discover he had left his soccer cleats at home, or to his violin lesson, when his bow and music were still resting peacefully on his music stand in his bedroom. Countless times over the years, he had arrived home after school to inform me about a band concert in few hours and he just found out his black dress pants didn't fit, or he had a project due the next day and needed crucial material from the craft store. He could have fed a third world family for a year, with all the nicely made lunches he had left in the fridge, after  nonchalantly heading off to school.

Harrison practicing his violin this past Christmas holiday

"Harrison, the one thing I regret after all the activities your Dad and I have registered you in, is that we never put you in boy scouts. What is their motto again?" I didn't wait for a reply. "BE PREPARED." I said loudly. "What would happen if it started to snow later today or my car broke down and I couldn't pick you up?" "You can't walk home in sandals."

"Oh mooooom" he said again. "I'm writing a 3 hour English exam today and I wanna be comfortable and besides, if you couldn't pick me up, one of the guys would drive me home." I glanced in the backseat at my newest high schooler, Grace, and asked, "Grace, do the guys wear sandals in the winter?" She laughed and said, "yeah  they do." Further annoyed, I said, "Well, if your friends all jumped off the cliff would you do it? Just because others are wearing inappropriate footwear, doesn't mean you have to."

Harrison sat stoically listening to my vent through the 7 long minutes it took to arrive at the high school and once I had pulled over, he jumped out so fast, I hardly had time to yell, "good luck on your exam." Grace just gave me a smile and a shrug as she closed the sliding door. Before heading to the elementary school, I glanced in the rear view mirror at my 3 remaining children and saw they were all sitting peacefully and were unusually quiet. Taking a tip from their lead, I popped my meditative music CD into the player.  Deva Premal started to chant, "Om Namah Shivaya,"  which is a mantra prayer for, divine-love, grace, truth, and blissfulness.

Marinading in that place, I reflected on the recent interaction with my beautiful son. Why do I have to be such a tight fisted, control freak? It's been over 50 years now since the deep scratch of grief and pain were etched in my soul record. I was 5 years old when I happily came home from jumping mud puddles with my best friend Freddy Green. My mom was sitting on the family couch, holding hands with our family physician, Dr. Gerd,  totally distraught, crying like a wounded animal, saying "no, no, no!" My dad had been killed on the Hope- Princeton highway, while driving his company truck for  Esso Oil. He left my mom alone to raise her four girls.

Since that day, I became a master planner and organizer. I had daily to do lists, 5 and 10 year plans and goals set out on paper. Unconsciously, I had adopted the belief that if every moment of my day was accounted for, nothing bad would ever happen to me or my family. And each time there was a new loss or unplanned disaster in my life, I doubled down to become even more controlled and regimented. Thankfully, as well as much grief in my life, abundant blessings have come too.

In my 20's, I married a kind and loving man, David, and together we had brought 8 shining stars to earth. Each one a wise teacher. After all these years, why couldn't I let my son follow his bliss this morning? I mean what is the worst thing that would have happened if he wore sandals to school?

Sheesh!

A few years ago, we had purchased a new, cherry red, LG washer and dryer set, which sang a jaunty tune when it's final cycle was complete. Harrison, particularly enamored with our new cleaning set, started to say, "LG Mom," when I would ask him how school had gone that day. That was his code word for, "Life's good!" 

Our LG set...."Life's Good! mom!" says my son Harrison

Why did my heart not trust that sentiment. Why was I always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I pulled into the elementary school's drop off zone and helped my 7 year old son, William, put his backpack over his bulky winter coat. As I tugged his multi coloured wool toque over his blonde curls, he looked up at me and asked, "Mom, can you get me into Boy Scouts?" Looking at his bright blue eyes, still sparkling with joy and innocence, I realized something had to shift and answered, "we'll see."

Giving one final wave to Will and my 5 year old twin daughters, I drove home,  letting everything settle into my chest as I listened to the chant, "Om Shanti,." coming out of my car speakers. At home, I threw the car keys back into the kitchen desk drawer and turned to see the cookie jar on the counter. 

Still empty.

For my whole life, I have kept the proverbial cookie jar filled, always prepared for unexpected company. But this morning, I flicked my finger over the groove in the record, and sat on my kitchen window seat, open and empty, letting the day unfold as it would, while watching the changing grey-blue waters, of the lake below our house.

The lake is constantly changing but today it appears still and empty.....or is that just me?

 
It's late evening now and I'm almost finished typing up my latest story at the kitchen table. I thought it was complete. The little ones are bathed and tucked away for the night, lunches are made, and Harrison walks into the kitchen. "Hey, mom, do you have a minute?" I looked up from my computer and peer over my reading glasses and say, "what's up?" "Well.... it's grad picture day tomorrow and I need a clean white dress shirt and dark tie." he says casually as he opens the cookie jar lid.

Our beautiful son Harrison...a wise life teacher

If you would like to hear Deva's beautiful voice, check out the Youtube video recording from her Dakshina CD. 


Thanks for coming to visit today and reading some of my reflections. Raising children opens a window into another world.


Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.


Blessings from Hope














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The Road Goes Ever On....A Farewell

This morning I went to a tea to remember a dear friend of my mother's who passed away at the grand old age of 97, just after Christmas of last year. "Last year!" Oh that sounds so terribly long ago, and yet it was only 2 weeks ago when we sang in the New Year. "Happy New Year 2017"

Inez was a friend of my mom's from the years we lived in Hope, B.C., (near the west coast). She was one of my mom's friends who stayed close after my Dad died when I was 5, and then in their later years they ended up living near each other in our current community and so, their lives intertwined. My oldest sister B and Inez's only daughter, Lilian, were best friends, until Lil died of cancer 15 years ago. Inez, out lived all four of her children, her husband, and most of her friends.

Why is it, that funerals, memorial services, or even simple teas, like the one I went to today, always take me down memory road and bring reflections on how we live our life. I was thinking about what her son in law J, (Lil's husband) said about how, in Inez's lifetime, she learned to just keep going. Maybe it was part of living through the depression years and the 2nd World War that taught endurance and resilience to that generation, but whatever lessons taught to survive, she learned them well. I can't even fathom living beyond all of my children but I know it would tear my heart out and yet, somehow she continued to live and breathe.

I remember when Lil died 15 years ago, in February 2002, my sister came with her daughter to attend her best friend's funeral and at the time, my niece T, had her first baby daughter. They asked me to watch my great niece, H, who was this bright eyed, sweet adorable, 91/2 month old. Oh, our time together was delightful. Although it was bitter cold, I bundled her up and took her out for a walk and when we returned her cheeks were rosy red.

It had been such a dark winter, for not just me, but the whole world. Only 6 months prior, on September 11, 2001, almost 3000 people lost their lives in a horrific terrorist attacks on the World's Trade Tower in New York, the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and in a plane crash near Shanksville, PA. The month of that attack was memorable for me in a more personal way, since after trying to conceive for  a long time, I finally was pregnant with our longed for, final addition to our family; our Soulbaby.

It was hard to be joyous when a tent of sadness had fallen over the world but yet, I had a glimmer of new life growing and I walked around often above the heavy grey fog, the rest of the world was still reeling under. At least until, the end of November when a routine ultrasound brought me down to the depths of that darkness and my dream for another baby crashed when I heard, "I'm sorry, there is no heart beat."

Even though our baby had died, my body didn't want to let go. Two weeks passed and still, no natural miscarriage came. By the end of November, my Doctor, fearful of an infection, admitted me to the hospital, to have an induced miscarriage. As my uterus started to contract, I watched soft snowflakes gently fall outside my hospital window, appearing like angel feathers falling from heaven.


                                                                       

Somehow, like Inez, I continued to live and breathe, dragging my heavy overcoat of pain and grief, numb to the simple joys of life. When you are a mother to other children, you have to get up in the morning. feed them, cloth them, brush their teeth, even though I longed to bury myself under the depths of down in my bed and allow sleep to sweep me from my living nightmare. When we had found out we were pregnant, we had decided to get our children two kittens for Christmas.  We thought it would be nice for them to have fur friends to nurture, as I was caring for a new baby and so, we committed to adopt sibling Siamese kittens; a male and a female. A few days before Christmas of 2001, we brought the kittens home.

                                                       

They were tiny, fluffs of  furry white with piercing blue eyes. The little female, who we named, Misumi, after a dear family who lived across the road from us in Hope, was spunky. She ripped around the house in spurts of energy, only to collapse on the cozy blanket with her brother, soaking up the heat of the fireplace I had on non-stop that winter. We named the little male, "Samurai" thinking a warrior name was befitting, but he seemed listless and quiet from his first days in our home and little did I know then, how much he would earn that name.

I should have known better, since I have had several cats in my lifetime but in hindsight, we should not have taken the kittens until they were at least 10 weeks old. It was Christmas time though and I had wanted our children to experience the joy of new life and happiness for the holidays. The breeder had assured us that it would be fine. It was not fine.

It clearly became apparent that the male who we nicknamed, "Sammy," was not eating well, and each day he seemed to have less energy, until he was just lying on the blanket in front of the fire for hours at a time. We knew something was seriously wrong and so we took him to the vet, who gave us special formula and little doll- like bottles to feed him. They were hopeful that with the supplemental milk, and special soft cat food, he would pick up and so we took him home. I carried him around much of the time in a little blanket, coaxing him to feed and willing him to fight.

Since it was Christmas holidays, D took our 3 older children up downhill skiing almost every day and I was home with our preschooler, Harrison and the kittens. It wasn't long though, before we knew Sammy wasn't  picking up and so my husband David and I took him back to the vet's office. They examined him and agreed, his health was seriously at risk. They kept him overnight and gave him some fluids but early the next morning they asked us to come in for a consult.


We rushed to the vet's office where we were told Sammy may have a digestion abnormality, although in my gut, I think he had been weaned too soon from his mother. The vet suggested that we euthanize him since he was suffering and probably would only last a day or two more at the most. With tears in my eyes, I looked at David and we both nodded our heads in agreement.

With great care and compassion the vet, brought Sammy to us to say goodbye. He held him as though he was a fragile china doll and softly whispered, "Sleep well," as he administered the needle that would stop his heart.

Exhale!

Exhale!

Exhale.......

 He then slowly wrapped him in a cozy flannel blanket and placed him in a tiny box and passed him to me. As I looked into our vet's blue eyes, I recognized a world of peace and kindness and I felt my chest crack open.

As we drove home, the heavy darkness I had been carrying inside of me released and tears poured down my cheeks in torrents, as I kept repeating over and over again, "I can't even keep a kitten alive, I can't even keep a kitten alive."

When we got home, the door from our house into our garage opened and I could see all of our children's expectant faces peering through. David got out of the van and quietly spoke to them and as he closed the door, their faces were already contracting in tears and sadness.Then I could hear David rummaging around where we keep our gardening tools and finding what he wanted, he walked out to the yard. I sat in the van for quite a while, growing colder and colder, holding the weightless box, and a wisp of a dream, allowing my tears to empty.

Sammy died on January 2nd, 2002. He was 10 weeks old. My soulbaby, had been 10 weeks old too when her heart beat stopped. I didn't know how I was going to go on that winter, but knowing you have a family to care for, you get through. And that February, when I knew my sister's best friend had died too young, leaving her three girls mother less, suddenly life just seemed too hard. Why, Why, Why! do we have to experience such pain, such sadness, such suffering in this lifetime?

And then, as I watched my rosy, red cheeked great niece sit in front of our fireplace, playing happily with my children's old baby toys, totally oblivious to this being the day of her "Great Auntie Lil's funeral, totally unaware of all the fear and hate in the world, I could see a crack of light beam through the dark wall of grief I had been building all winter long.

We go on,

the road goes ever on,

and I must follow it,

if I can.

Maybe Inez had the key and could see far ahead. So far ahead that she remembered the way home. 

A lot of goodness has occurred in the last 15 years in my life;  I got pregnant again the month after Lil's death and one year and one week after my miscarriage, I gave birth to our sweet amazing Grace, just down the hall where I sat watching angel feathers fall.

And THAT Christmas, was full of magic and wonder as we marveled over the joy of new life in our home. The memories from that time, like a bandage, cover the scar that never totally heals. The pain sometimes seeps to the surface, even now, reminding me to keep flowing through life, with least resistance, like a river to the ocean, always moving closer to home.

Farewell Inez!

 If you can't see the above, click the hyper-link below:

The Last Goodbye (Billy Boyd)

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

A Transformative Year of Seeing and Being Who We REALLY Are

 

Happy New Year!

Wow....We are living in 2017! I don't know about you, but I find that remarkable, since last year so many people left this earth....starting with David Bowie and ending with Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds....to name only a few.

I am STILL here to ask the questions but most importantly, to live the answers.

Even though this time of year is dark in my part of the world and we get little sunshine making things sometimes appear gloomier than they are, I try to remember that each day is a miracle.

This is the view out the door from my bedroom late in the afternoon...brrrr. it's so cold right now

 

 I count my blessings and although many days are filled with too much work and responsibility, those who have traveled the road before me, hold up a lantern of light to guide my way and I'm grateful when I awake each morning to take a new breath.

Speaking of a new day, today is my oldest sister B's birthday. Happy Birthday B!!!

I was born in November of 1959 when B was almost 13years old. She has always been my BIG, big sister. She held me as a baby and marveled as I grew. At a time in her life when things were getting hard, you know the early teen years, she said it was nice to come home to a bright eyed baby who didn't have any cares in world.

 When I was just little she used to give my mom a break and take me down to the cafe where she worked after school,  and she would treat me to french fries and an orange pop. I still love the tangy taste of orange crush. Whenever I had to drink that strong sweet drink when I was pregnant to test for gestational diabetes, the nurses would say, "I know it's really terrible," but secretly I loved the orange syrupy drink. (I never did have gestational diabetes by the way)

My big sister, B holding my hands and my other sisters behind, J and C...helping me to transform too

 Oh, and while at the cafe, sipping on my pop and eating fries loaded with ketchup, B would give me some change and let me pick a song from the table top music selection box that would eventually play on the cafe's jukebox.  I would ALWAYS pick the song called, "These boots were made for Walking," by Nancy Sinatra. (click on the hyper-link if you can't see below) Have you heard it?....it goes like this.....These boots are made for walking and that's just what I'll do.....la, la, la.....

 My sister B has been there for me my whole life. She has always been a bit more than a decade ahead of me, so when I faltered on my own path, I always had someone to look up to and follow. Our Dad died just after B graduated from high school and had started working at the Bank. In the subsequent years it was tough for my mom so B would come and get me in the summertime and let me have a holiday with her and her husband D.

My childhood wasn't the happiest after Dad died but having an older sister who would pop in and out of my life and brighten my days, helped me to hold onto the belief that life wouldn't always be tough.When I think back, it must have been hard for my sister because she was just in her 20's and trying to keep all the balls in the air, while also watching out after me I'm sure was difficult.  Wherever B lived, and she and her husband D moved a lot in those early years, she would always find a beach for us to soak up the sun and listen to music. When I  smell coconut oil to this day, I'm transported back to the beach blanket we shared, her brightly flowered bikinis, her glistening skin and her coral pink nail polished toes. At the end of the vacation she would take me out shopping for much needed back to school clothes. Ahhhh.....when September rolls around, I still think about how nice it was having a few new outfits to wear to school. When I wore them, I would remember that I was loved.

As I grew into a teen, I saw that her life wasn't easy. She and her husband were having marital problems and then she had a beautiful baby daughter when I was 13 years old, the age she was when I was born. Another generation of women coming to earth.

My sister B, her beautiful daughter T, and me in the middle,..we are all 13 years apart and each living a different decade but walking a path towards transformation (We are in the process)

As I watched her deal with the end of her marriage and saw how hard she worked to support herself and her new baby, I had a glimpse into how my mom had managed after my Dad had died and also understood how I wanted to walk my path. As a strong and resilient woman. 


Music was always apart of my memories with B. Check out the four tops, this type of music reminded me of the early days when we lived in Hope and Saturday mornings meant the girls would help mom with the household chores and once they were done they were free for the rest of the day. B said she worked really hard so she could get out of the house but as a little one too small for chores I only remember the music coming from the living room and sometimes the girls taking time out to do the twist on our well worn area carpet.

If you can't see the above, Four tops singing "Reach Out" click here

What I have learned from B, is that life may not always be easy, it can be tough for much of our life but we have to remember to be gentle on ourselves while continuing to put one foot in front of the other, do what needs to be done and remember always who we are and where we come from. We are always in the process of transforming, building character and becoming the people we are meant to be.....oh and something she taught me late in life as I watched her deal with her "stuff,"...learn to let go and laugh, always laugh. "Life's too short!"



A few years ago B came for a visit and one day when we were sitting on my back deck, looking at the beautiful lake, she said to me, "You know, there are days when I look into the mirror and don't recognize the woman I have become." 

I  know at the time, she was talking about how her body was aging and she was having problems relating to her reflection. As I grow older now, I too have that same sort of displacement of self. It has occurred a few times for me when I'm out in the world with my three younger children and the "are they your grandchildren?" comment arises. I laugh it off but I would really like to say, "we don't all have our children in our 20's or even our 30's. Sometimes we have to transform ourselves before we create our greatest life's work." People wouldn't understand that though as it's just not society's belief or the "norm" for women to have children in their late 40's, 50's and even beyond.

For a bit after hearing such comments, I'm sad. I'm sad that my body and face are changing beyond what I think I should look like, I don't relate to an older me, but then I look at my beautiful older sister, actually I have three to admire, and I see these remarkable, strong, wise, funny, soulful, BEAUTIFUL, engaged women, living rich, full lives and I can look in the mirror and see who I have become. Who I am evolving into. My sisters have held a mirror up for me and I see that growing older is actually the loosening of my earth attachment and growing back into who I really am.

Oh sure, I have moments where I'm very much ego driven, fear led, society pulled. Moments where I lather face cream everywhere and I still highlight my hair to keep the grey at bay, and the grandmother question too, but for the most part I embrace the woman that stares back out through my reflection. .

In the last 10 years, as I've watched my sisters grow older, I didn't just stay stagnant, no I was growing and evolving too. I have been turning away from the world and it's idea of what is beautiful, what is an approved path, and creating a life full of my own longings, my truth and inspiration. A place where I hope the next generation of people can gain the strength to recognize their authentic self earlier than I did, so they have more time to live their dreams and enjoy their life. 

William and our twins, Victoria on the left and Kathryn on the right, born late in my life

So Happy 70th Birthday B, You have transformed into your authentic self, I hope you recognize yourself now when you look in the mirror. You illuminate the world with your love, kindness, care and compassion. You are a brilliant spirit in a beautiful earth suit....with~~~~~ WINGS~~~~. 

Thanks for helping me see my path clearly too.

"Are you ready boots? Start Walking."

These are the boots of my other two sisters, C and J....who also guide me on my path

We are given many opportunities to stamp the ground and create new paths for our sisters to walk....how do you want to walk your path and what are you leaving behind on the trail?

As I finish my blog I'm singing along with Joe Cocker, "You are so beautiful." Check it out!!!

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope  

Holiday Reflection and the Christmas Angels

"Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous New Year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source~a sower of dreams, just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true." ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach~

Happy New Years Eve!

 I'm kind of glad to say goodbye to 2016. I don't know about you but it was a year full of tumultuous emotions for me and I think for many others in the world. Peace is still not reigning around the world and terrorism has been far too much in the news but I hold onto to hope that happier times are ahead.


"Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering 'it will be happier'.....
                                                                                                            ~ Alfred Tennyson
 and peaceful too.

Also, unusual for us, I had a long list of things I wanted to accomplish last year but many of those tangible dreams did not come true. I did at long last bring chickens to our homestead and they have been a delightful addition to our home/yard. The little girl's dreamlike loft bed was built and they are happily settling in to their new beds and cozy space.

Our attic renovation has been stalled along with the below zero temps outside and the new retaining wall above the pool will have to wait until spring arrives.

 And yet.....

I am optimistic about the new year and as a proverbial goal setter and list maker, I'm rather excited about what 2017 will bring to the world and our family. There will be goodness and movement towards a more peaceful and healthy world. I'm holding my vision and all my dreams have come true....eventually they always do. (One of the keys in manifesting dreams is to believe they are already here...the other is to be joy filled and grateful for everything, ALREADY, in your life)

Of course, the Christmas season is a wonderful way for the year to end in my opinion. It's the season of love and light, the season of  joy and hope. Even if you don't believe in the Christ Child or the spirit of Santa, to keep breathing and living in such a world, you have to have a seed of something....something in the way of faith.

"You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood." ~ that an excerpt from a response that Francis Pharcellus Church wrote back to Virginia O'Hanlon who wrote to the editor of the New York's Sun in 1897.

When I look at our twins, they remind me in a very tangible way that holding fast to dreams is the key in life

And so I continue to believe and to HOPE.

What sort of things are you wanting to accomplish in the new year? If you are following my blog and are likeminded, you may want to shift towards becoming more sustainable and perhaps you and I can build a bit more garden space in our yards, we can produce more of our own food and process it, we can consciously consume less and create a life that is revolved around healing our souls, our fellow man and the earth.

Personally, our short term goals are reducing our waste, continuing on our minimalist path by donating or selling unwanted items in our home, reassessing our lifestyle with regards to activities and things we say yes to and the food we nurture our body with.

 Our long term goals are still to find an acreage, not too far out of our community and build an energy efficient small home. We would like to transition to using an electric car that we can plug in via our solar panels. (with our size family we need an energy efficient larger vehicle) We want to be less reliant on "the man," and more reliant on ourselves. No matter where you are on your journey, it's all good and you....and I are exactly where we are meant to be.

What are some of your goals? Something that I saw on Facebook late this year really inspired me to start a gratitude jar. It's can be as simple a mason jar in which you place little notes holding all the wonderful things that occurred throughout the year. On New Years Eve next year, you open up the jar and read all the notes. I love that idea....do you want to join me in starting a Gratitude Jar in 2017?

Let me start by thanking you for coming and sharing in my life

So the holidays are almost over, tomorrow we will take down our trees and other decorations and we plan to do a thorough de-clutter and continue to move in the direction of less stuff and more life. If we are going to eventually downsize to a smaller, more energy efficient home, we need to review each item we own and ask ourselves, "do I need this and does it make me happy?" Later in the day we are going skating....'cause everyone knows how to skate in our house now! YEAH!

It's all about life choices.

As I write this post the snow is gently falling and our three little ones are outside adding to their snow fort, since they now have fresh material to work with. Oh, can I hear them.....they must be having a really good time!!! Each of us are creators and builders from an early age!


Before the New year begins though I wanted to share a glimpse into our home over the holidays. I have had a few friends who have smaller families than ours, ask me how we financially manage to celebrate Christmas with our 8 kids, so I thought I would take this moment and share a bit of what we do each holiday.

Again this year we went to the Mountains and brought home specially chosen Christmas trees....cost NOTHING........but full of....abundant memories. (Next year, only one tree!)

The kid's homemade ornament tree in the family room

Our living room had a larger tree full of keepsake ornaments from past Christmas memories

From the time our oldest was small we decided to focus on less stuff, although there always seems to be way too much. Each year we take time to really think about our values before we give gifts. We give our children new p.j's on Christmas eve which they open while their Dad reads the classic book, "Twas the Night Before Christmas," given to me when I was a baby.

Early on Christmas morning, a last look at the family room tree

Christmas morning, I got the turkey in early and the kids were anxious to see what Santa had left them

The kids checking out the cup of eggnog and cookie plate we set out for Santa the night before

The next morning we eat Cinnamon buns and mandarin oranges while taking turns opening up our stockings, which are stuffed full of things that are either consumable, (tea/coffee/chocolates) or useful, (toothpaste, toothbrush, new underwear). A highlight for a few older kids was receiving David's tea and sugar free gum.

 Since there are 10 of us, this can take 2 hours as we go around the room, youngest to oldest taking turns pulling things from their stocking...I know sounds excessive as I write this but it's fun....and again, for the most it's items we would buy anyway. At the top of the stocking there are usually fun things, little toys, craft items, for the little kids or new IPOD ear buds, beads to make earrings for the older ones, etc.

Alyssa made some earrings with her Christmas beads from her stocking

After getting dressed we meet again in the family room, make some eggnog lattes for the adults and cranberry juice for the little ones and take turns opening the one gift each we receive from Santa and the one gift from Mom and Dad. These gifts are commercially purchased but now that we are moving towards being more minimalists, they are the bigger things we need or have dreamed about for a long time.

The Kit and Molly doll were under the tree sitting on boxes....from Santa, Aka...older sister Alyssa who was happy to pass them down....Molly has glasses like Victoria who got glasses in the summer

 While everyone appreciated these gifts, in my opinion the best gifts are yet to be opened.

William and Alyssa on Christmas afternoon making a puzzle that Will got in his stocking

On boxing day William enjoyed playing his new Zelda game on Wii U....his older brother is helping maneuver in the game

A delicious dinner of course......

And while the turkey was present on our table this year, our favourite dish, all around was the sweet potato casserole...hands down. I can see a future without a turkey...easily....and I think all of the kids are receptive to more vegetables and less meat

The best part of Christmas day in my books and I think the kids would agree is after dinner. We of course are stuffed but the kids pulled out their music books, stands, and instruments and put on a little concert for the family. Even the little ones performed this year; Kate playing the piano and Tori, singing two songs she learned at Kindergarten, "with dramatic actions and flair," I might add.

Grace before the Christmas concert playing a grade 8 classical piece

Mitchell and Will played a few songs together on the cello....(note typical teenager in the background..on his phone)

Kate and Victoria have been taking piano lessons and they know a few Christmas songs this year

Clark and Harrison on violin, Mitchell on cello and Alyssa on piano played through their book of Christmas carols

We wish you a Merry Christmas......

A future drama star....Ho! Ho! Ho! Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way.......

After that we make a circle in the living room and the kids open the homemade gifts they created for one another. I think these are the most treasured and appreciated gifts of all. As I wrote earlier, there were tie dyed t-shirts and peppermint fudge...a big hit for the guys, peppermint bath salts and peppermint white chocolate bark for the girls, a homemade board Christmas board game for William, CD's of the little one's favourite Christmas music, and caramel popcorn.

Clark with his new tie dyed shirt and tin of fudge and almond bark

Alyssa with her peppermint bath salts and peppermint white chocolate bark

William's homemade Christmas board game....the Incredible Journey to finding Christmas, complete with the animals from the Homeward Bound adventure....also little gingerbread tokens and dice and cards...pop up trees..AMAZING! Good job Alyssa....you are so creative!!!

 


 The highlight of the evening had to be when the little girl's opened their Christmas angel dolls that I had stayed up late sewing.

It's a long story, but when the little girls were newborn, I had made each of them a little pillow with their middle names embroidered on them.

Kathryn Mira (her pillow says Miracle) as a newborn

Victoria Hope when she was newborn

 Over the years, with all the washing the stuffing had gotten lumpy in the pillows, so I decided to take the embroidered part of the pillow off and sew it on a larger pillow cover. I gave these to them on Christmas eve and they were so happy to have new, bigger pillows and  bonus...they coordinated with their new bedding nicely.

As I was making these new pillows though, I took out the old stuffing and wondered what to do with it.....hmmmmm.....! Then I remembered something I had seen in one of my Christmas craft books I had borrowed from the library and it was a beautiful homemade angel doll. I had ooohhhh and ahhhhed over it and thought it would be so great to make something like that for the little girls but I didn't think I would be able to create something that elaborate......well.....as it turns out, it's not hard to make little stuffed dolls after all. Okay, it's hard to make their faces...but sewing their body, making little dresses, even making hair.... not difficult...just time consuming.

It did take a few late nights but with scraps from my sewing box, and the new stuffing from the old pillows, I had everything I needed to make the angels. Clark, who had drawn Victoria's name happily wrote a story to accompany Victoria's doll and I'd like to share that with you now.

              The Christmas Angel by Clark Reynolds.....written for Victoria Hope Reynolds

Every Christmas angel has a child to look after, that's the rule, after all. Before Christmas had come and gone, they all needed to find their child, and were only given one letter, the first letter in the name of the child they would be the guardian of. As Christmas Eve drew closer and closer, there was one angel who despite her best efforts, could not find her child. She looked around at her friends and saw them all smiling, busy bringing hope and joy to their little charges in time for Christmas. 

Looking down at the letter she had been given, she recognized it as a "V,"but had no one to match it with. The angel flew from house to house, but no matter where she looked all the children were under watchful eyes. She knew that if she didn't find the little girl with the "V" name, she would be alone for Christmas, as all the other angels celebrated the holiday. Despairing, she began to cry. In the midst of her sobbing, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder. There was another angel, holding a heart with the letter K, also without a child. The other angel smiled at her and gestured downwards. 

When she looked down she saw a small girl with curly light brown hair playing with a dollhouse in her room alone. Suddenly, another girl burst through the door. "What are you doing Victoria. Come upstairs and play with me!" she insisted loudly tossing her straight blonde hair and the commanding little girl ran upstairs. Victoria gently put the little Victorian doll she had been playing with back into the doll house and yelled, "Wait up Kate!"

The little angel looked down at the heart she had been given with the letter "V" on it and noticed the angel who had comforted her also had a heart but it held the letter,"K." It was now that the angel knew she had found her child and she wouldn't be alone on Christmas, or ever again for that matter.  She smiled at her angel friend and looked down again.

Before Victoria ran upstairs to join her sister, she paused and looked up, she felt like she wasn't alone as a joyous feeling settled into her heart and for every Christmas thereafter it would remain.

For Victoria,
Love Clark

Wasn't that the sweetest story.....such a simple gift to give a little one. Knowledge that they are never alone and are loved.


And now my family and I are counting down to the end of the year but before I join them in the celebrations, I wanted to thank you for sharing in my journey this last year and allowing me to be part of your life too.

Farewell 2016

(if you are unable to see the above youtube video click on this hyper-link...Celtic Women sing, "Auld Lang Syne

I hope you come back to visit me and my family next year on this journey called, "life."

 Until we connect again, may you be well, happy and peaceful. 

Happy New YEAR! 2017

Blessings from Hope