Goodbye summer!
Summer ends today on this sacred Sunday.
Yesterday, after working really hard around the house and yard, me cleaning the house, then mowing our lawns and working in the garden, while D cleaned the pool and cleared the junk lying around in the garage, we popped our kids into the van, picked up the LAST slurpee of the season, dropped some books off at the library and went for a drive into the country.
We drove past fields of corn still growing, farmers mowing their final cut of hay, and cows fattening up, lazily eating late summer grass. As the kids slurped the last of summer's sugar, we in the front seats, talked about how 2014 hadn't gone as we had planned, We started talking about what we wanted our future to look like.
We looked at some acreages (just land) that were for sale. Some too small, others too steep and tree filled, and then we drove past the BEAUTIFUL old fashion (but new) farm house, I have fallen in love with. It's too far out for D to commute. Too far from the high school and University bus, and well, although it has an abundance of land, 78 acres, we've aptly named it, "the ON the grid house." It has a high power electric line, (138 k.V.) I think D said, running down the middle of the huge hay field. While I LOVE this house and can imagine our family living there, having all my innards humming, isn't my idea of living off the land. Plus, in our opinion they are asking too much money. So we drive on.
When we came to a side road, D asked if I wanted to take it, knowing full well we would eventually come to another road. A road I had dreamed would lead us to our new home. I just nodded and for the longest time we drove silently thinking of what was ahead. Then we started to chat, admiring the farms with quaint houses with matching red barns, or making a comment about how some people don't care for their precious land and allow debris to clutter up their property. We are envious.
Eventually, we came to the road that would take us past the farm we had dreamed of living in this fall. Interestingly enough, the name of the road didn't ever dawn on me until now. It's called, "Hurt Road." Do you ever think about the power of names? D smiled at me as he turned right and we meandered along the road, drinking in the beauty of the late summer glory. We were seeing this road for the first time in late summer, since we found this property late last year when snow was almost on the ground. Everything was so green, rich and beautiful.
Finally, we came to the Christmas tree farm's first drive way,....it has this lovely 1/2 circle drive way that you enter from one side and leave from the other. I rolled down my window and the crisp scent of fall filled the air. You could hardly see the house, although it's only situated 100 or so feet from the road. The deciduous trees are so thick with leaves but here and there are colours of yellow, orange and red. The trees know fall is coming.
For a few seconds, I let myself daydream about turning into the drive-way and going home, then reality hit. This is someone else's house now. The pain hit. Sheepishly, I asked D if we could leave a note on the front door, asking the new owners to contact us if they ever wanted to sell. He reminded me the house had sold at the top of our price range and they would want more money, IF they ever were to sell. I slumped into my seat for a minute as we slowly drove down the road and then sat up a bit taller to admire a horse we were driving by. I was sad. We turned around at the end of the road, as it is a dead end road, (just what I wanted) and this time as we cruised by the farm, an insight came to me.
It dawned on me, until I say goodbye to the dream of THAT farm, I will never have my heart open to find another just as wonderful. A place for all my family to grow, to learn, to connect. A place where we can sit around the dining room table, like the Walton family from my favourite childhood T.V. show. A place where we can become even more sustainable and independent. A place where we can become not just farmers, but be soul FILLED people.
And that is also the way it is in life. If we are always hanging onto a time, a place, or things, our hearts and minds aren't open for new experiences. As time travels and we continue on our path, we need to open our arms and our hearts for the joy that is waiting. As I say goodbye to summer, I say Hello to the unknown of fall and the memories to come. Abundant blessings to be sure.
This post also reminds me that right now, RIGHT NOW, is all that matters. Right now, is the gift given on this last day of summer. On a Soul Sunday. I'm going to go and have a relaxing bath, get dressed and join D and the kids who I can hear are in the kitchen laughing while making pancakes. There is fresh fruit and maple syrup too. Ahhhh the luxury of living in the moment. The bliss of it all.
As I leave you, if you haven't checked out Oprah's Soul Sunday interviews to help you connect with the sacred, I would highly recommend them. They help me remember we are all connected and living our dream, right now!
Note: If you are using an Apple product, you may not be able to view the video below. If so check out this link that should connect you to the video with Dr. Brian Weiss and Oprah talking about grief and living)
Join me in welcoming Fall! It's going to be the BEST season yet!
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Blessings from Hope
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